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WELL , I THINK ITS MY TURN. I am x1134x's wife. That very personal "story" is about me and this will be my first post here because I was SO INCREDIBLY HURT by what I read, I felt I needed to give my perspective and some very important information that might lead to @Athol and others giving MORE extensive advice. Here are a few VERY IMPORTANT factors that perhaps should have been given with this post that have conveniently been negated.
1) My old brother (5 yrs older) and only sibling just died 3 months ago today in a sudden and horrific motorcycle accident.
We are military kids and he was also my only father figure. My father left us 14 yrs ago and I just saw him for the first time at my brothers funeral. I had to find him through the Red Cross. I workout daily and make it my FIRST priority so I don't cry ALL THE TIME. My grief counselor and therapist (yes, I see one to deal with my issues unlike my husband) recommended daily exercise to help with depression. x1134x read on this site that being around crying women (me, my mother, my aunts, etc) all the time lowers men's testosterone and could be adding to his Beta-ness or ED issues. So, I try not to cry at all. Instead he wakes me up in the middle of the night to notify me that I'm crying in my sleep. Nothing I can do about that, I dream of my brother. Sorry.
2) x1134x had not committed to MAP until 3 weeks ago.
x1134x has stated to @johnc that he has been working out for years. We (myself and x1134x) just sat down and had a HONEST communication about that. He admitted to having worked out perhaps 30 times in the last 6-7 years. Average = 10 times per YEAR. His workouts have been hit and miss but approx. 3-4 times a week for those 3 weeks. (I MUST note that I have begged him to work out for years, to little success. I encouraged him to build that home gym. I funded it, as a matter of fact, when he wasn't working regularly at the time. I work out daily now but have worked out weekly off and on for many years)