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I've been into the MAP for about five months or so now, and I've made good progress with many of our problems, but not much on the sex front. The last four or five weeks or so (or maybe longer), the wife has been displaying some really odd behaviors when romance might be in the air. I am not sure what to make of them, or how to handle them. Thus far, I have just been telling myself "Keep MAP-ping, this shit will eventually stop one way or another," but I am curious if anyone else can explain what is going on.
The first odd habit is that the last couple of weeks she has acted like she is torn between giving in to physical contact and/or sex and being stand-off-ish. She starts to act like she wants to cuddle, snuggle, or boink, and then backs off. I have actually seen her appear to struggle with it. It looks like a girl in high school who does is not ready to go to the next base or give up her virginity or sneak around behind her boyfriend's back, but physically really, really wants to. The only trouble is...we're already married, and there really is no downside to giving in. Her mom isn't going to walk in on us or something. What the heck? I am now showing some small amounts of muscle definition (though that stupid pizza gut makes me look like I'm wearing an inner tube for a little girl), so there may be some cracks in her lack of attraction.
Last night, for example, we sat down to watch the last hour of a movie. I put my arm around her. For fun, I slowly readjusted till my hand was cupping her breast. (For those that wonder how this worked, I have long arms, and she has really small boobs.) She start readjusting herself, but it followed a weird pattern. She would first move so that my hand was off her breast. Then, a couple of minutes later, she would move so it was on her breast again. Finally, a minute or two after that she would shift again so she was snuggled against me closer, but my hand was off her breast. I would usually squirm a little a minute later so I was back on her bosom, and a few minutes later we would repeat the cycle. However, if I didn't put my hand back on there, she would shuffle again so it was for a couple of minutes. This went on perhaps for forty-five minutes last night. I wondered what the hell she was doing. After a while, her face appeared as if she was agonizing over what to do. By the end of the hour, she was biting her lip, chewing her nails, and fidgiting with her hands, acting like she was nervous. I didn't bother to initiate, as I was kind of weirdly fascinated by what she was doing, and wanted to see how it ended. I was also irritated at her earlier snippy behavior (as you will see).
The second odd behavior is that she'll tease me all day with words and actions that suggest sex, but then get into a really foul mood and angrily reject me about an hour before the kids go to bed. This has actually been going on for at least a couple of months. She'll say and do things that indicate sex is on her mind, but then about 7:30 or 8 o'clock, she'll mysteriously start acting weird and get angry for no reason.
Yesterday was a good example of this one, too. I took a bunch of boy scouts camping this weekend, and came back grizzled, stubbly, and foul-smelling. This is normally a big alpha score for me, probably for the manly activities out in the wilderness and the leadership of the troop. All afternoon, she was flirty and friendly. I played it cool but mildly interested. She put on a tank top to come watch me work out in the yard, which she hasn't done in several years. She let me grab her and pull her into my lap, something else I haven't been able to pull off in a few years. She even hinted she wanted me to work with some of my heavy machinery and tools. At 7:45, though, the mood swing came in, and she bitched about everything. She complained that I had left out some school books she had asked me to get out for her. This was silly, as she had asked me to get them out; why would I put them away? I finally snapped at her, and her bitchy mood disappeared as quickly as it blew in. However, it killed the mood for me for sure.
The third thing is also weird. When she agrees to have sex, or sometimes even suggests it herself, she will engage in a series of very small delays in getting to the bedroom. This has happened several times in the last few months. This one pisses me off as it ensures we will be really tired by the time we finally do it, and it reeks of trying to control the situation or irritate me for no reason.
Last week, for example, she agreed to have sex, but first she wanted to finish watching some dance routine on TV. Then, she looked up the cast of some movie we saw years ago, and read aloud the personal trivia about them. After that, she mentioned some song she had heard at a concert a few weeks ago, and wanted to play it for me from the Internet to see if I recognized it. I did not, but she kept playing the song. About two minutes in, I got impatient, figured this was a fitness test, stopped the music and said "Let's go upstairs." I figured this would score me some alpha points, but instead she just said "I guess I CAN'T listen to the end of that song," as she went upstairs to the bedroom.
Any thoughts on why she does these things? Is there anything I should be concerned about, or just keep on MAP-ping?